It’s Not Who You You Are But Who You Think You Aren’t….Keeping You From Your Dreams!

When you read the following sentence, what is your first thought? RICH Tip – write it out so you can see it in black and white, and not in your head within the swirl of your emotion.
“You have everything you need, right now at this very moment, to achieve whatever it is you want in life.”  (my version of statement)

What did you write out? Did you get excited, pumped up, and say to yourself – ‘Yes, I do….’. Or did you go to the negative; to the things you perceive you’re missing or inadequate of, the insecurities and doubts, and/or did fear and anxiousness get drummed up; “Maybe I do, I just don’t know how to use or pursue them.”

Deficiency motivation doesn’t work. It will lead to a life-long pursuit of try to fix me. Learn to appreciate what you have and where and who you are
Wayne Dyer

This is not a time to be proud, especially since you are reading this post and responding to the above question by yourself. There is no reason to disguise yourself from yourself. Be honest and true to you so you can learn how to truly believe; ‘who you are is ALL you need to achieve anything you want’. Yet you may be surprised why many people do not want to ‘believe’ in the above statement….. do YOU know what the real reason is? Are you one that ‘believes’ in the above, but are afraid to admit it?

As a business consultant and coach, there are two reasons why people engage with me; help them to identify what it is they need to do, and more importantly, help them get out of their own way of doing those things. Most of them know they have everything they need to get what they want, ut bdo not want to admit to it. They will even make excuses or lie to themself that they don’t, because the little voices in their head are screaming at them: You are not good enough, You do not know enough, You can’t do it, It will be to hard, You don’t know how to….., You don’t know those people, You have money, no business skills, and even ‘No right to….’! Some inner voices go on to say ‘You will embarrass us, You can’t leave me”, You can’t _____ me!”

Those bitches (as we call them here) are what you learn to believe, as opposed to believing and honoring the little voices in your head also screaming (RICHes) at you: You are smart, special, strong willed, resourceful, talented, a leader, money wise, an initiator, a motivator. You are brilliant, charasmatic, a master networker, a great _________, a savvy business person, and more….

Ask yourself – Why is it easy for me to believe in what I AM NOT, instead of what I AM?

Noone, including me, can convince you of something you don’t truly ‘believe’ about ‘you’ – the RICHes of you! We can help to motivate and inspire you out of those inner bitches, but only you can make the SHIFT mentally, emotionally, physically, intellectually and more….so you will finally ‘believe’ and then act! So, let me at least provide you some tips to help you begin to believe……


  1. If you did not, write our your response to the first question – “You have everything you need, right now at this very moment, to achieve whatever it is you want in life.” …...
  2. Assign an emotional impact measure to each of the emotions you felt – from a scale of 1 (low) to 10 (high). For example – if you responded to the above with ‘yeah right’, or ‘I wish’ – how strongly did you ‘believe’ in that negative emotion: a 3 or an 8? If you said, “Oh yeah, I know’… are you really convinced of that ( a 9-10) or are you trying to appease yourself (3-4); not wanting to confront how scared you are about admitting that because it would mean you should be acting on it – now!
  3. Now that you understand the impact of that ‘belief’ – write out the things that cause you to believe in those emotions? What causes you to ‘not have what you need’ or ‘what allows you to believe you do’? Do you lack – skills, talents, monies, relationships, experience, etc. – what are they? Do you possess certain skills, talents, achievements, resources, monies, etc… to leverage?
  4. NOTE – each and every one of us have contributed to the world in some way, shape or form. You have to be willing to confront what those are – the good, bad, warts or beauty marks;so you can continue to work on what it is you want and who you are.
  5. Of the things you believe keep you from having what you need – pick the most important 3 that you ‘believe’ are needed to achieve your goal
  6. Of the things you believe you possess to assist you having everything you need – pick the most important 3 you ‘believe’ will contribute to you achieving your goal
  7. Define for yourself or seek assistance from someone, to come up with ideas, tactics and actions to take to obtain the 3 things you believe you need….. then focus on the 3 things you are saying you already possess that could contribute to you obtaining the 3 things you need.

Allow your RICHes (what you already possess) propel, energize, and create the confidence you need to pursue the RICHes you believe you need!
In this time of social collaboration, online information gathering, 24/7 education and training, and accessible support, motivation, inspiration and even doses of tough love….. you have at your fingertips everything you need to pursue and achieve your dreams….. focus on the above ‘mindset’ adjustment needs, and YOU are everything you need.

Next week we will discuss How Your Demons Are Impacting Your Business/Career’…… Share, forward and invite your friends, colleagues, associates and others to receive this weekly personal and professional, business and life Tips Bulletin. Then join me on Tuesday at Noon eastern for a lively conversation on this same subject and you can share your opinions at 1-818-572-2910 on Shedding the Bitch Radio.

Remember, the best gift you can give yourself and your life is YOU!! Be sure you are always aware of who you are so you can ensure you are showing up in the world the best you can be.

Join the conversation by leaving your comments or results……. and you will be included in monthly drawings and a BIG BANG drawing for BIG RICHES (fun prizes)…. mugs, t-shirts, books, Airline Tickets and and more…… sign up on the site and Take the Pledge (and you will be entered multiple times to win)! Our drawings are every Friday at 3:00 p.m. eastern (on Facebook)…. and know that each time you contribute, sign up on our site, post to Facebook, retweet our Tweets, etc. your name will be entered in the monthly drawing, giving you more chances to win.

Bernadette Boas is the ball of fire behind Ball of Fire Consulting, Ball of Fire Inc. (media/publishing) and her book Shedding the Corporate Bitch, Shifting Bitches to Riches in Life and Business. Bernadette is a speaker, radio personality of Shedding the Bitch Radio, coach, and the Shedding the Bitch® movement leader.

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